A white massacre is a silent war.

I was born into the indigenous society of my forefathers who have left us, we, the first people of “kanata” their descendants. The elders have of our communities have with knowledge and sacred teachings of religion and beliefs. These teachings have been left for many of the tribes across the land we call home, “mother earth.”

We are taught to respect and take care of our home mother earth. The elders of all our communities have referred to us, as communities have referred to us as caretakers of Mother Earth by the elders of all our communities. It is a very significant role for our people. It has been like this for 14,000 years.

The elders of my tribe have taught us to the extent of their abilities, including the concept of animism. This involves the spiritual or religious idea that the universe and all natural objects animals, plants, trees, rivers, mountains rocks etc have souls or spirits. The people believed in the Great Spirit and were raised in a white-man-made society.

In order to survive in a diverse society, I have found myself embracing multiculturalism. According to my experience, my comfort comes through a combination of karmic laws and universal laws. In addition, my ancestry comes from an indigenous society that has been controlled and taken over long before my time over the past 193 years. Another note, only 69 years ago you could buy one of us for only $10.00/US.

We have been shaped by the deviance of these people for too long. Their acts of deviance have marked us so relentlessly that they have defined and shaped our identity.

My question is, how is this legal at all?

Can anybody see how wrong the government is?

“We can’t be taken advantage of and our children should be protected.”

“what is it about us you don’t like?” and “The right to erasure of us Indigenous Peoples?”

So, what is my stand on Canada’s intention to “get rid of the Indian problem” and the question of Genocide?

https://origins.osu.edu/article/canada-s-dark-side-indigenous-peoples-and-canada-s-150th-celebration?language_content_entity=en#:~:text=Duncan%20Campbell%20Scott,no%20Indian%20Department.%E2%80%9D

Here is my story, the trial in all of this havoc of today’s genocide us indigenous peoples face. Being a former foster child from 1997 to 2016 is a punishment. Now, today my children have been kidnapped from me and now I live with being deemed unfit, as a parent and left dehumanized. All these adjourned court dates and JDR’s through the provincial court, have affected my children from the moment they ripped my children from my arms.

Does justice exist at all? Having given birth to my child, I feel like I have been targeted since then. Despite the government interfering with my mother-daughter relationship and traumatizing my children’s hearts, it should be illegal for it to damage our mother-daughter relationship and now my son.

I am determined to justify my love and my rights as a parent to anyone who will read my story. We should at least speak up for our family’s honor as a means to defend our honor as a whole. Having been deprived of motherly rights, I must speak up. They cannot and will not take my love for my children and my role as a mother. Until it is time for my physical form to leave mother earth, my love will still remain spiritually infinitly. Still, death seems to be creeping closer, to the point that it almost feels as if this government is responsible.

In this country, death row is not legal, yet the government and justice system are the most responsible for robbing, stealing, kidnapping your children, your identity, and your voice. Last but not least they steal your lives. We have been silently murdered by them. They have murdered us in a timely and systematic manner.

Can you see it? It is there. I can. “I am indigenous, I am a former foster child, and I am a loving mother.” I identify myself as all three as it is my right and only right. Despite this, it does not make it okay for the white man to kidnap my children when I have the right to live. I speak for all caretakers of mother earth and their children.

What is the federal government doing to the indigenous people? This, in my opinion, can be described as “A silent mass Systematic Massacre.” That is what I would call it. This silent war is the result of government policy in this young society.

My mind and life seem to be filled with torture, pain, loneliness, and emptiness. My intuition of knowing an end date to my life based on the end date of my children’s care status is not okay. It kills me theoretically, having no choice but to adapt to this entirely different way of life, as if I’m confined.

Over the last two years, I have been suffering from a great deal of depression. As a single parent, separated from my children and motherhood, I was left to sulk in misery and loneliness. My life seems surreal some days. It’s as if I’m already dead.

In silence

I grieve,

I suffer.

My heart aches

Hear me now.

As I look down

I see wounded hands,

I am still alive.

So I gather what strength I have

Look up at the sky.

And look back down at mother earth.

Finally I drop to my knees, look up one more time

And ask the moon to send my message to the universe.

I surrender. I beg you all to bring my children home.

Listen to me cry, hear me roar, hear my love for my children.

I’ve been given a new life of misery,

Suffering, and loss.

Here in this new life,

I am not happy, we are not happy.

We dream of love,

Union and all the harmony of existance.

We are human.

It hurts to know your children are here, but you cannot see or hear them. The problem is that you can’t call them on the phone, when you miss them or wonder what they are doing or how they are feeling at that moment. Lastly, I am sick of worrying if the people caring for and raising my children have made sure they received proper nutrition, love, and affection as if they were your own child.

Last thoughts and questions are impossible, but they are also essential. I worry everyday all day. It’s a sad song that doesn’t want to end. My children have been in care for over two years now and I admit that my selfishness has prevailed. The whole thing has been a circus. After 8 months of my children being taken and apprehended by child welfare, I feel that the Covi-19 pandemic has traumatically affected my family and decreased my chances of regaining sole custody.

At a certain point in time, the idea that I would be wrong in thinking this occurred to me. I came here by way of this long flight through the circus I am performing in. Since I wasn’t able to contact my children for months, my youngest was placed in foster care with nobody knowing who during the pandemic. While my daughter lived with her aunt and uncle, the ones that called the workers in the first place. These were the ones who made the final decision without considering the realities of being a single mom on welfare. Furthermore, I was indigenous with no reliable parents myself. This is the system I was raised under.

In regards to my authenticity regarding racial reconciliation, I will not tolerate any judgment or criticism from anyone. However, who am I? I recognize that I’ve made poor and not so wise decisions, but who am I anyway? A human being. It is not my income or source of income that determines how well I can parent my children. I would also like to add that I don’t have a strong support system like a mother or father who would assist financially or for childcare. Growing up, I never had to deal with the choices my parents made. On another level, yes, but certainly not so that it affected my parenting abilities. It should never be a judgment they say they don’t follow, yet they do in court.

It is my most significant goal to speak up, and to fight for them. Both of my children impacted my life from the moment they were born. As their mother, it is my privilege and honor to be a role model. I will unconditionally love them until the time comes when I am naturally ready to leave this world. I am honored to be a mother. I will not follow the government’s orders. Then, I will stand my ground on my own and free myself and my children from the massacre they planned for us all.

Life is governed by all the karmic and universal laws. All these universal laws are a part of my existence and are the only ones with which I feel at home. Since practicing this new way of life, I have become more passionate. I was unable to think of anything without my children when they were stolen. In solidarity and honor I discovered the traces of memories, the places, activities, the holidays and birthdays by myself without my children in my care or arms. It was all so unbearable. Memories, places, and specific family and friends negatively affected my mind and spirit.

Even in the darkest moments of my life, I can still remember my favorite memories with my children. That was something I could never forget. Mothers who have given birth can relate to the feelings of awe and the most precious and happy memories.How could anyone have known the government could take those memories too by locking them away in an isolated place called mental death row? It’s unbelievable.

Using a brief expression. To express how it feels to have your children ripped from you. In my current and previous experiences, it has almost felt as though the government apprehended not just my children, but also all our memories and all our experiences in the past.

With all war and havoc. Among all the wonderful memories and experiences I have, I still have a long way to go. The government will have me compete in a number of races and hurdles, and I’m confident enough to make it through all of them.

I have learned what it takes to become a winner at a young age in foster care. Being a track star through junior high school both for long distance and for short distance is where I discovered my inner strength. This was a major discovery and victory that addressed trauma and issues. I should really give myself a high five for my positive experiences. When considering the many milestones in my early childhood that were impacted by trauma and abuse.

In my early childhood, these experiences taught me to be a resilient winner, despite my darkest and weakest moments. Although not all of my life experiences have been challenging, I assure you that they were not all painful. I have accomplished many remarkable things as well as lived through many challenging experiences. I have been fortunate to achieve significant successes as well as positive outcomes. It is not my intention to create a frenzy about government officials.

Having said that, I must admit that ignorance truly is bliss. Ignorance has given me a chance, and bliss has granted me privileges. I was fortunate to meet some of my most admirable and influential caregivers and role models through my early life. These role models shaped my creative thinking and self-expression, so I am grateful. Having experienced all of life’s experiences has given me a deep sense of passion that I am extremely grateful for.

You can either see it as a race or not. The choice is up to you. Considering that life is like a game, why not be a game changer? We already live in a society with losers and winners. Love, harmony, and overall peace are all winners when there is a game changer. On the other hand, neither the world nor society will ever be just right, not in one lifetime anyway. It is within our power to achieve anything we set our souls and minds to.

It would be great if we could see not just one, but all, or at the very least not just one, two, or three winners with no end in sight. Now if you are still reading, you must have realized we were both winners.